Let's talk about this! https://www.theaustralian.com.au/the-oz/perspective/the-case-for-staying-consciously-uncoupled/news-story/053cc2e5502e67b694b32a0726c20754
Assuming you haven't been with someone your whole life, was singleness a mostly positive or negative experience?
If negative, did you feel there was an expectation to be so, or an expectation to be positive?
If you're a Christian, did that change your view of singleness?
The Bible does explore this from both angles. Paul, who is widely considered the greatest apostle, was unmarried and encouraged others to not be held back by a spouse (1 Corinthians 7.7). Then of course there are countless love stories as well - Ruth and Boaz, Esther and Xerxes. I guess when you're single and a Christian, often the response will be "I'm sure that God has someone out there for you, in due time" or something along those lines. Is that then damaging and not encouraging contentment in the current season? It isn't more Christian to be married, so why is it that we lean towards this? It could be not so much a Christian thing but a society thing, because even with the rise in singleness, the stereotypical way to go is to settle down and start a family - this is the goal. "We assume that marriage is God's intention for every individual."*
Never got past the passing-notes stage in grade 8, so I've been single for a while, and that's been hard because as I realise now, I placed my worth in that. I truly thought that if a guy didn't even see me as worthy of love, then why should I. If no one saw me as attractive enough then why should I. And I think this stems from the fact that we tend to measure our worth in comparison to our goals, or 'the goal'. As all the movies go, love is 'the goal'. It's the happily ever after we're chasing, and everything else will fall into place and be okay if you could just find your special person. Society idolises love in all its forms, and really does well at revolving around this watered-down concept. Love is not an iconic confession quote or a passionate moment. I grew to cling to this worldly idea that love is the thing to strive for, love is the answer to all of your problems.
And it is...but not like that. It's that moment when you realise that finding your life in the love of Jesus is the answer. When you commit to learning more about this, you begin to see more and more how He meets every need, and abundantly more than you expect. That need for feeling worthy of love, that need for having someone to catch you when you fall. (Matthew 6.33)
We have to be careful about what we place our worth in. Depending on an individual to complete your life is going to lead to disappointment. I believe that God will place the right people in your life at the right time, relationship wise and other, but chasing this first before Him? We need to shift our perspective from thinking that finding your significant other will bring satisfaction, because the Bible makes it quite clear that such satisfaction or wholeness cannot be found in this world, but in Heavenly things.
"Paul was careful not to "put any restraint" on the Corinthians by making them feel that they had to stay single (verse 35). Unfortunately, we have not been so careful. We put the opposite restraint on our brothers and sisters by making them feel that they have to get married if they are going to be fully human, fully Christian, and fully integrated into the life of our churches."*
"The point really is not whether one is single or married. God gives both stations in life as gifts; neither should be devalued or avoided. The point is that whatever our marital status, we must not let anxieties of this world cloud our undivided devotion to Christ."* (Colossians 3.23)
*Phillips, Beth (2001) "1 Corinthians 7 and Singleness in the Church,"
Leaven: Vol. 9: Iss. 3, Article 4. Available at: https://digitalcommons.pepperdine.edu/leaven/vol9/iss3/4
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