I'm very driven by my feelings, so I often see myself starting to slip into the pursuit of happiness. If it makes me feel good, then it can't be that bad, right? Wrong. Because feelings are temporary and no matter how high the high, it won't help when I come crashing down again. It's dangerous, because then you become addicted to those feelings again, risking more to experience it once again. Translate this to whatever situation as you will.
Happiness is not fulfilling every pleasure or getting every outcome you desire. Happiness is being able to enjoy life with a peaceful mind that is not constantly craving more. "It is the inner peace that comes with embracing change."*
As a Christian, growing up you're taught that joy is better than happiness because joy is sustainable and happiness is fleeting, but when things get down, when things get low, if you're struggling with depression - which could be described as an absence of happiness - you'll settle for happiness. But there's the pursuit of happiness because when we can't get joy, we'll settle for happiness, because we need those little highs to keep us going and remind us that life is worth living, and we start pursuing the happiness and the little things because we don't think we can go for much more. It's more sustainable to have joy but it isn't easy to get to that place, we settle for the quick highs to get us going, we start pursuing happiness because that's what we need now, we need that quick fix, and we lose sight of the bigger picture, a joyful future and a more sustainable future, we start putting our energy into improving the now instead of investing into our future, the long fix, and we just get stuck feeding the 'now'. Our standards drop as we drop, when things get low, we don't think we deserve more so we settle for what is lower to match, and in dating etc., when we get desperate, our standards start dropping because we lose sight of what we're worth, our standards drop to where we're at to reflect that. But the cool thing about Jesus is that He meets us where we're at, He lowered himself to a man - not a sinner, but a man - to meet us where we're at. "Justice means we get what we deserve, mercy means we don't get what we deserve, and grace means we get what we don't deserve" When you get low and you don't feel you deserve more than where you're at, grace says 'I'm still going to give you all of Me (God) in all My glory.'
"The extent to which you consciously lean on God, drawing strength from Him, is the extent to which you will lower your anxiety level, and unless you unburden your soul before God, it’s easy to make wrong decisions, succumb to wrong impulses, move in the wrong direction, and explode at the wrong people. It’s a mistake to focus on the outside and not appreciate and cultivate the inner qualities God has given you.
Peace and happiness come from trusting God for what you need; knowing if something is right for you, He will provide it, and if it’s not, He will give you something better. An amazing thing happens when you meditate on God’s promises. Your worries shrink, your mind and attitude are reprogrammed, and you enjoy life more. Jesus said, ‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else… live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.’ (Matthew 6.33)"*
Are you happy? No? Change something. That's what the world tells us, but that brings us once again to the idea that happiness is a destination. If you aren't there yet, then you must be doing something wrong.
Things that give us an insane amount of dopamine actually alter our tolerance, meaning the little things that used to bring us joy just don't have the same effect anymore. This can spiral to depression as you keep fighting to find that same high feeling again but anything less just makes you feel empty. Hence I believe that happiness is not achieving something, because you will never truly reach it. But it is the lack of wanting that brings peace. Removing the struggle to find happiness will give you a far greater peace than that happiness ever could, and learning this will last longer too. When we get caught up in the pursuit of happiness, the finish line is always one step ahead.
So what then, we just live mediocre, joyless lives? No. Of course Jesus had joy and happiness in His life, and He wants the same for us, but its dancing on that line between seeking and thinking on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable ... excellent or praiseworthy," (Philippians 4.8) versus living our lives, burning up our time, energy and resources to chase that feeling, rather than sowing into life-bringing things that will later allow us to reap happiness.
* unknown quotes in my notes app sorry, but creds to whoever it was - not me!
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